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How Exactly Does One Suck a Fuck?

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Juvenile delinquent with growing interest in time travel seeks winsome new girl in town who thinks I’m so good-looking that she’s willing to overlook how creepy I am.

I know I’ve got problems. I have a strange fascination with Grandma Death. I’m underenthusiastic about Sparkle Motion. And at stressful moments in my life, the most emo 1980s soundtrack of all time starts playing for no discernible reason.

Also I suspect I’m the sole reason my entire branch of spacetime exists — but I don’t want to burden you with that too. I just want you to think of me after I fulfill my destiny by getting crushed under a falling aircraft engine. I know you won’t actually remember me, since it will be more like I never existed in your timeline. But I want to try to believe it for a little while, anyway.

And shut up, Frank! You know she can’t see or hear you.

#m4w
#http://gawkerdating.tumblr.com

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