This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

The Dude Abides


Okay, Maude, you know what: You win.

At the beginning, I just thought you and your artist friends were strange. And the way you said the word “vagina” all the time wasn’t very mellow. Plus I didn’t know what to think when you sent those thugs to beat me up.

But now I see the family issues you’ve had to deal with. I swear I lost interest in that porn star even before I discovered she was your stepmother. And your dad, with his strange fixation on junior achievers and rugs — real human Paraquat, there.

But I don’t care about any of that stuff anymore. I just want you to come over and hang out with me for a little while. Because I realize now: Whether you’re my special lady or just my lady friend, you’re really what ties my room together.





Share This Story

Get our newsletter